Deewaro Se Ladta Hoon

दीवारों से लड़ता हूँ

ख़ुद से बातें करता हूँ

तुम जब से गए हो

जाने कितनी मौतें मरता हूँ



याद है तुम्हारी वो हंसी

जो छाओ थी मेरी धूप की

वो पलकें बिछाना तुम्हारा मेरे लिए

और मेरा उस प्यार को देख न पाना

लड़ता था तुमसे

गुस्सा होता था, चिढ भी जाता था अक्सर

लेकिन प्यार बहुत था

अब दीवारों से लड़ता हूँ

ख़ुद से बातें करता हूँ



प्यार का मतलब और प्यार का मकसद

दोनों समझ नहीं आते मुझे

सीधा सा आदमी हूँ

बस इतना जानता हूँ की

तुमसे ही मुस्कान मेरी, तुमसे ही आंसू

तुम नहीं हो ना जो अब पास

तो अकसर रोता भी हूँ

दीवारों से लड़ता हूँ

तुमसे बातें करता हूँ




तुमसे नहीं कहा कभी

लेकिन जानता हूँ की ग़लत हूँ मैं

माफ़ तुमने पहले भी किया है मुझे

तो एक बार और सही

आ जाओ ना

दीवारों से लड़ता हूँ

ख़ुद से बातें करता हूँ

तुम जब से गए हो

जाने कितने मौतें मरता हूँ ।

----------------------------------------------------------

(English-Transliterated Form)

deewaron se ladta hoon

khud se baatein karta hoon

tum jab se gaye ho

jane kitni mautein marta hoon



yaad hai tumhari wo hunsi

jo chaaon thhi meri dhoop ki

wo palkein bichchana tumhara mere liye

aur mera us pyar ko dekh na pana

ladta thha tumse

gussa hota thha, chhidh bhi jata tha aksar

lekin pyaar bahut thha

ab deewaron se ladta hoon

khud se baatein karta hoon



pyaar ka matlab aur pyaar ka maksad

dono nahi samajh aate mujhe

seedha sa aadmi hoon

bas itna jaanta hoon ki

tumse hi muskaan meri, tumse hi aansu

tum nahi ho na jo ab paas

toh aksar rota bhi hoon

deewaron se ladta hoon

tumse baatein karta hoon



tumse nahi kaha kabhi

lekin jaanta hoon ki galat hoon main

maaf tumne pehle bhi kiya hai mujhe

toh ek baar aur sahi

aa jaao na

deewaron se ladta hoon

khud se baatein karta hoon

tum jab se gaye ho

jane kitni mautein marta hoon.

Ramchand Pakistani




Based on actual events, this is a movie about a hindu pakistani boy and his father who crosses the border accidentally and end up spending 5 years in an Indian jail. Protagonist Ramchand's mother(Nandita Das) is left behind in Pakistan, suffering (and still living somehow) every day. Though the story has nothing much to offer in terms of content, but watch the movie for Mehreen Jabbar's sheer brilliance as director. Every small feeling is captured so beautifully that it makes you feel the tension, trauma and misery of the lead characters. Nandita Das is fantabulous. The children who played the character of Ramchand(both small and grown up) has given amazing performances. Character of Ramchand's father Shankar is played equally well by Rashid Farooqi. Don't miss the movie for its intensity, performances and the charisma!

Pensieve 1

It's kind of strange how you are affected by people around you. By the people you like, and by the people you don't like. Alike. One single thought is sufficient to disturb the peaceful pond - your mind is. Ripples start coming and going - like a never ending process.

There's one senior of mine who is very, very annoying. Initially it was so tough that I used to fill with rage whenever I thought about him. I had even planned to teach him a lesson or two, but then I realized that the best way is to avoid him and snap back a sharp NO! whenever he asks something. Things are better now.

Likewise, there is one fellow of mine whom I was not comfortable with. He used to say things which I didn't like. So I decided to avoid him or to reply curtly whenever he asked or said anything. Temporarily things seemed to work for me, but gradually things became better due to my not giving any attention. I even forgot what I had planned. 1 year later, he is a good friend of mine and things don't go uncomfortable between us anymore. May be he realized that I was not liking his talks! May be something else.

Then there are things which have their impact on me in peculiar ways. More about them later.