एक नाज़ुक सा रिश्ता

जज़्बातों को ज़ुबां दे देना 
इतना आसान नहीं 
नाज़ुक से रिश्ते को कोई नाम दे देना
इतना आसान नहीं  

प्यार किया तो जाना कि
रंग क्या हैं 
उजाले क्या हैं 
बरसातें क्या हैं 
खुदा की खुशबू महसूस हुई 
इस एहसास को समझा पाना
इतना आसान नहीं  

तेरी हँसी की ख्वाइश अब 
इबादत बन गयी 
तुझे सोचकर मुस्कुराने की अब 
आदत पड़ गयी 
अन्जान हो तुम, अन्जान हैं हम 
इकरार कर पाना ..
इतना आसान नहीं !

कह गए हैं सयाने 
इश्क लत है ऐसी जिसे छुडाना 
इतना भी आसान नहीं  !

जज़्बातों को ज़ुबां दे देना 
इतना आसान नहीं 
नाज़ुक से रिश्ते को कोई नाम दे देना 
इतना आसान नहीं

(Wrote this one in my Cryptography lecture today. Its dedicated to a very close friend of mine, jiska naam yahaan likh diya to uska naazuk sa rishta yahin 'the end' ho jaayega :P)

I am

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. formula. 

30 % Chandler
30 % Ross
15 % Monica
10 % Phoebe
5 % Rachel
5 % Joey
5 % Gunthur

Simple. Isn't it?

RM #1

"Only difference between truth and fiction is that fiction has to make sense."

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

- Cyril Connolly

Life is such a bitch and such a beauty at the same time. At one moment you feel like the 'keeng' of the world, and the other moment you think you are the biggest loser humanity has ever seen. What's the sense then? of living? Are we adding something to this infinite process of existence. Already we -the earth- are nothing but a tiny speck compared to the vast, vast universe. WE are obviously not alone. We are obviously not the smartest. And not the dumbest too. Then WHY!! WHY WHY WHY?? Why are we here? What matters? What difference does it make? Even, when we say that do good to others. Make a difference is somebody's life and your life is worth.. but that too.. why? People have to die eventually. So how does it matter? Its a vicious cycle of birth and death. Some live happily. Some in misery. But all ends, in the end. Right??

I think sometimes.
A lil' excercise is not bad for this good for nothing brain at times. 


(RM or Random Musings is a series of blog posts where I gibber my random thoughts. No restrictions. There might be mistakes, grammatical, logical, theoretical, factual, categorized or uncategorized. I don't care. and I don't give a damn!:)

The Eight Lies of Mother

A forgotten newspaper article that's just too good to not to be put here.

The story began when I was a child; I was born as a son of a poor family. Even for eating, we often got lack of food. Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was removing her rice into my bowl, she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry". That was Mother's First Lie.

When I was getting to grow up, the persevering mother gave her spare time for fishing in a river near our house, she hoped that from the fishes she got, she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth. After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish, which was still on the bone of the fish I ate. My heart was touched when I saw it. I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her. But she immediately refused it and said "Eat this fish, son. I don't really like fish." That was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, when I was in Junior High School, to fund my study, mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that would be stuck in. It gave her some money for covering our needs. As the winter came, I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke, supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued the work of sticking some used-matches box. I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late, tomorrow morning you still have to go for work." Mother smiled
and said "Go to sleep, dear. I'm not tired." That was Mother's Third Lie .

At the time of final term, mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me. While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine, the strong and persevering mother waited for me under the heat of the sun's shine for several hours. As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished, mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared before in a cold bottle. The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love, which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!". That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After the death of my father because of illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. No days without sufferance. Seeing our family's condition that was getting worse, there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us, either in a big problem and a small problem.

Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that our family's life was so unfortunate, they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother, who was stubborn, didn't care to their advice, she said "I don't need love."

That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my study and then got a job, it was the time for my old mother to retire. But she didn't want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs. I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in fulfilling her needs, but she was stubborn for not accepting the money. She even sent the money back to me. She said "I have enough money."

That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

After graduated from Bachelor Degree, I then continued my study to Master Degree. I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship program, from a famous University in America. I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary, I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America. But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son, she said to me "I'm not used to."

That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

After entering her old age, mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized. I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean, directly went home to visit my dearest mother. She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation. Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn. She tried to spread her smile on her face; even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out. It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body, thus she looked so weak and thin. I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face. My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition. But mother, with her strength, said "Don't cry, my dear. I'm not in pain."

That was Mother's Eight Lie. And , after saying her eighth lie, my dearest mother closed her eyes forever...

We are so lucky and blessed to have mom in our lives.Today go to your mom and say, "Ma, I love you."

ek adhuri kahani

तुम ये जाते जाते कैसी निशानी दे गए
जो एक अधूरी कहानी दे गए

ले गए अपनी बातें
छोड़ गए बस यादें
ले गए अपना साथ
छोड़ गए ये बरसातें
किसना से मीरा दीवानी ले गए
जो एक अधूरी कहानी दे गयी

ले गए हंसता 'कल'
छोड़ गए रोता 'आज'
ले गए सारा संगीत
छोड़ गए बस साज़
शांत मन मेरे को बवंडर तूफानी दे गए
जो एक अधूरी कहानी दे गए

ले गए सुकून
छोड़ गए ये जूनून
ले गए वो अपनापन
छोड़ गए तन्हा मन
और ले गए मुस्कुराहटें
छोड़ गए बस तकती आँखें

रिश्ते कैसे ये बेमानी हो गए
जो एक अधूरी कहानी दे गए