Defenses



We grow defenses around ourselves. A kind of shield, an invisible fence. We may have so many friends around us, but we have different layers of fences. Outermost fences, for acquaintances. Fences after that, for closer friends. Yet, there remain those innermost fences, which we don't allow anyone to cross. However close that friend is. These fences are our defenses, we keep on defending ourselves from even closest of our friends. Funny, isn't it?

When someone tries to cross these fences, tries to be too much of a helping hand, tries to be over-smart and intrude the privacy by crossing certain boundaries, we get alarmed. Cracks begin creeping up in the relationship, then. 

There is more to it. Everybody has their fences at different radii. Yours might be smaller than mine, or bigger. People who have seen pain, felt pain, have got hurt, expected too much, consequently have got disappointed too much, have made bad decisions, trusted the wrong people more often than the others, have much larger, stronger fences at a much larger radius. They don't want people to come closer any more, they don't want to open up with what all they have, they want their wounds only to remain with them, not to be touched, not to be shared, not to be healed. These are the ones who can become good friends, even best friends with many but don't usually have any good or best friends. 

4 comments:

Raphael said...

my thoughts exactly...the most accurate words said about me...
u will always be there for friends...but u won't expect them to be there for u

Aadii said...

:)

Sach! said...

:) levels of interactions, I would call them. But then I think they help us to balance emotions. As Humans, we tend to have feeling, love, care, expect things back and if we have the same level of emotions for everyone then we would be hurt more. Also, on the contrary, I too feel that life would have been better if there were no boundaries. Every one respected each other's emotions.
In hope of a better world.. Peace \m/

Aadii said...

Levels or no levels, it does not matter -- as long as there are emotions, there are expectations and hence the disappointments and hence the "hurts". Well, no surprises here but the vicious circle of emotions spares no one.